It Takes a Village

But despite the stress of planning a wedding, it made me reflect on a few things. In every TV show and movie about weddings, you constantly hear people telling the bride “It’s your day” and “It’s all about you”. But if you think about it, it’s not (To my mom and my sister: There may have possibly been a few stressful moments where I forgot that, and I love you both for putting up with me). Why else do we have father/daughter dances or mother/son dances? Because it’s kind of about them too.

From the start of planning, I knew I was going to deviate a tiny bit from what’s considered traditional. See, for a large part of my life, when I thought about my future wedding I never planned to have my father give me away. I know that sounds awful, and it was, but I had my reasons. Then a couple of years ago, I watched the love of my life and his sister deal with the unexpected loss of their father. It was heartbreaking, and it made me realize that eventually I would regret not giving my dad his moment.

So, my daddy walked me down the aisle and we had our traditional father/daughter dance. And I’m glad I’ll always have those memories. But I still needed to find a way to honor the other people in my life that deserved recognition. Several years ago, I lost my granddaddy. He was the strongest man I’ll ever know and taught me so much about life and love. Growing up, he was the most important man in my life and I had always wanted him to give me away. When my mom got married, my sister and I made a charm with his picture in it for her to carry. My sister borrowed it for her wedding, and I borrowed it for mine. A tangible representation that he was still there to walk us down the aisle.

I also needed to honor another man who came into my life much later but also had a great effect on me. I was already in college and living away from home when my mom and stepdad started dating. From the first moment, he accepted me and my brother and sister as his own. The things he’s done for us and the way he’s been there no matter what we needed; I can’t truly express what that means. Since the place my husband and I were married at had a long aisle, I was able to honor both my stepdad and my father. My stepdad walked me part of the way and my dad walked me the rest of the way. I was also able to share a second father/daughter dance with my stepdad.

As much as it meant to me to honor the three men who had such an influence on my life, there was one person who deserved recognition even more – my mom. She’s my best friend and the one person that has always, always been there. Everything I am I owe to her for guiding me, teaching me and kicking my butt when I needed it. So, from the very beginning I knew I would be playing a song for me and my mom.

Being able to find a way to honor all of them meant so much to me. And I only wish it would have been possible to honor all the people who have shaped the person I am today. My aunts who have always been there to support me and teach me sass and wit. My grandmother who is absolutely the greatest example of a strong southern lady. My friends who taught me it was okay to show my true colors and not always hide behind a book. And my sister who was my first friend, my first role model, and has always been so much stronger than she knows.

What they say is true, it does take a village to raise a child. My village definitely gets a little crazy sometimes, but I’m blessed to have every single one of them.