Thanks, but No Thanks

Now, tons of sitcoms and movies over the years have glamorized the ten-year reunion concept. I mean, what kid didn’t dream of that day after watching the awesomeness of Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion?

In honor of such a momentous milestone, here’s a short list of things I’d rather do than attend my high school reunion:

1. Give all three of my dogs a bath (Ever tried to bathe a dog that hates water? How about three of them?)
2. Fold every piece of laundry in my house (I have no complaints about washing and drying, but I really, really hate folding.)
3. Spend an evening serving all of the worst guests I have ever waited on (In other words, spend an evening being talked down to by people who can’t pronounce “charcuterie”.)
4. Listen to my husband give a detailed history of all things WWE (Honey, I love you, but the absurdity of that show makes me want to stick a fork in my eye.)
5. Stick a fork in my eye

In other words, I have absolutely zero interest in ever attending this event.

Here’s the thing, I had some great friends in high school. Over the years and despite all of us going our separate ways, a lot of us have remained close. In fact, some of my best friends from high school were recently part of my wedding. But I wasn’t exactly popular back in the “glory days” of high school. I was a bit of nerd, sometimes teacher’s pet, and definitely a major bookworm. Seriously, if it wasn’t for those friends I just mentioned I would have happily spent those four years hiding behind a book. As a result of this (and the fact that I had a weight problem as a kid) I was bullied and teased quite a bit.

Now, in the movies, the poor unpopular kid that was bullied by the prom queen shows up at the reunion looking fabulous and showing everyone how much she has changed for the better.

I won’t be doing this. I have nothing to prove. High school was not the best time in my life and I’m not all that interested in reminiscing. And I really don’t need to see how the lives of kids that were a$$holes to me turned out. I don’t really care (also, this is the same reason I have ignored a lot of social media friend requests over the years.)

Basically, what I’m saying is that while a ten-year high school reunion looked magical in the Hollywood version of life 20 years ago, it’s 2017. We have social media. If I wanted to stay in touch or catch up with the people I went to high school with, I could have done so easily. But I didn’t, and I’m not.

Thanks for the invite, but I won’t see you there.