30 Lessons in 30 Years

30 lessons I’ve learned in the last 30 years.

The world is a pretty crazy place right now. One that’s full of questions that have very few answers. But despite the uncertainty, life goes on and, whether I like it or not, I’m still another year older today.

To honor the occasion, I’m sharing 30 lessons I’ve learned in my 30 years.

Diets suck

I have always struggled with weight issues, which means I’ve tried so many diets over the years…and they all suck. So, eat the brownie but maybe take the stairs instead of the elevator. It’s all about balance.

Be prepared for unexpected expenses

It never fails, if my car is going to break down, it’s going to happen at the worst possible time. I used to be completely unprepared every time it happened and would scramble to try to cover the cost. These days, we have money set aside for emergencies which makes a stressful situation a lot less stressful.

If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it

This has become a mantra of mine for the past few years. Sometimes things happen that just flat out suck. And you can wallow and cry and rage about it. Or you can decide that it really isn’t. that important in the grand scheme of things and move on.

Family is everything

I’ve written about how much my family means to me before, in planning our wedding and deciding to move back home. I can’t even begin to explain how lucky I feel to have the family I do, to know that I always have a soft place to land and people that love me.

Mama was right

My mama and I certainly butted heads when I was a teenager. Partly because I was a teenager and teenagers are dumb, and partly because, as it turns out, I’m exactly like her. I only wish I knew then what I know now…she was always right.

It’s OK to say no

It’s easy to feel obligated to say yes to everything, whether it’s a social engagement or more tasks at work. But saying yes to everything only leads to burn out and resentment. It’s okay to say no sometimes.

Love happens when you least expect it

I know it’s cliché, but it’s true. I wasn’t looking for love or a relationship when Scott showed up in my life. In fact, if you’ve read our story, then you know I actually resisted at first. But look where we are now.

Find someone who keeps life interesting

Speaking of love…there are a few traits I’ve learned are really important in the person you choose to spend your life with. Choose someone who always makes you laugh. Choose someone who truly values your happiness. And choose someone whose weirdness matches yours.

Kindness is free

Working in customer service has actually taught me a lot about people.  And the biggest thing I’ve learned is this…it costs absolutely nothing to be kind. Smile, be polite, offer a kind word. You have no idea how much of a difference it can make.

Negativity is exhausting

I’ve found myself in this situation many times where I’m surrounded by people who are constantly negative. And it is emotionally exhausting. There’s always a silver lining. There’s always a rainbow after the rain.

Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s

Everyone has their own path to follow with their own destination. And each one is like a snowflake, totally unique but still beautiful.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar

Another customer service inspired lesson. People are much more inclined and, in fact, happy to go out of their way to help you if you treat them with respect and kindness. Don’t be mean, don’t yell, don’t make threats; all that does is a guarantee they’ll talk about how awful you were to their coworkers.

Diamonds Dogs are a girl’s best friend

Someone once said happiness is a warm puppy. It’s also a spoiled little dog that insists on being in your lap, an old dog that loves belly rubs, and a giant goofball that sheds more than should be possible.

Bad experiences don’t define you

Life isn’t always happy. It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s sad, or scary, or heartbreaking, or hurtful. But those dark times don’t define you, they don’t make you the person you are. They are just things that happen to you.

It’s never too late to follow your dreams

There is no age limit to following your dream. Dreams don’t come with an expiration date. Keep following them and never settle for less.

It’s not always about you

It’s easy to be selfish and to want what’s best for yourself. But there’s also joy in giving to others and putting their needs before your own. Make someone smile, it’s good for the soul.

Find joy in simple things

When I’m sad or having a crappy day, I watch Disney movies or put in my headphones and dance around my house. It’s simple, it costs nothing, and it’s guaranteed to put me in a better mood.

You can’t go home again

Physically, of course, you can go home again (obviously we did). But, you won’t be the same person that left. You won’t view things quite the same way. And it can be a hard coming to that realization.

Capture the memories

It’s so easy to hit that delete button on photos that aren’t “instaworthy” or that we don’t think we look good in. But one day, you’ll look back and wish you had reminders of those moments. So, take the picture and keep it.

Wolves don’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep

I know this sounds kind of harsh, but I mean it in the best way. Not everyone is going to like you or agree with you. In fact, there will always be people who have really unpleasant opinions that they will insist on sharing. Ignore them.

Listen to your instincts

Only you can really know what’s best for you. If a situation just does not feel right, for whatever reason, distance yourself from it. If you do and your wrong, you might regret it. But if your right and you ignore it, you will definitely regret it.

Memories over materials

I can’t remember half of the gifts I’ve received in my life. But I remember the beach vacation we took with my family the year I graduated high school that turned out to be the last vacation with my grandfather. I remember the first UNC basketball game I attended with Scott at the Dean Dome that became the site where he proposed 3 years later. Memories and experiences last a lifetime.

You’ll never know it all

This is something I wish I could go back and tell my younger self…you don’t know it all, and you never will. There’s always going to be someone who’s smarter, or wiser, or more experienced. Learn from them.

Find your tribe

Life is just better when you don’t have to go through it alone. Surround yourself with friends who love you at your best and tell you when you’re being your worst, who support your dreams, and who make life fun. I’ve been lucky enough to go through life with these girls by side for the past 18 years.

Everyone is entitled to their own/opinions/beliefs

We all come from different places, with different beliefs, different histories, and different experiences. Therefore, it stands to reason that we all have different opinions. And that’s okay. Just because someone doesn’t believe exactly the same thing, doesn’t automatically make them wrong. And it is absolutely possible to have discussions about our different opinion without being a bully.

Make life count

Over the past few years, I’ve found myself working jobs I hated because I had certain expectations to meet and certain rules to follow. And at some point, I realized that I didn’t want to look back on my life in 50 years and wonder where it went. I want to enjoy life. I want my life to count.

You’re never done

There’s always something new to kearn. You should never stop chasing dreams. Don’t quit climbing the ladder. Keep setting goals. You’re never done wanting to go further or climb higher or be better. It’s never the end of the book, just the start of the next chapter.

Work and personal relationships do not mix

I’ve worked around people I’m related to and people that I’ve dated. I’ve also worked closely with other people who were related or involved. It always ends up being awkward and it never ends well.

Just because they should know better doesn’t mean they do

It can be really uncomfortable to speak up and disagree with someone in a situation where they are the professional and, therefore, should know better than you. But, sometimes, that isn’t always true. And if you’re unsure, it doesn’t hurt to voice concerns. Otherwise, you might end up with hair that’s bleached to the point of being best described as crunchy (or something worse).

You have to get older, but you don’t have to grow up

You may get another year older, you may have a few more gray hairs, you may even start seeing a few lines around the eyes. But that doesn’t mean you stop enjoying the things you once loved.