What I Learned From Being Fired

Getting fired at almost 30-years-old, having held a job since I was 16 without ever coming close to being let go, wasn’t something I ever expected. Going through the experience came with a lot of emotions…anger, failure,  fear, and even relief. It also came with a few really important lessons. So, in hopes that it may help others who have experienced this, I’m sharing what I learned from being fired.

I do feel that I should add a brief disclaimer.  This article is not meant to disparage my former employer. In fact, I’m making it a point to include as little identifying information as possible. Many underlying factors contributed to events, some I knew and some I strongly suspected. And, while I feel things could have been handled better, my intent in sharing is to talk about the effect it had on me personally and not badmouth anyone.

Background

I should start with a short explanation of the path that led me to accept that job.

My entry into the working class came when I was 16 after I took a job waiting tables at the country club in my hometown. At first, it was a way to earn pocket money, pay a few bills, and save up for college. Later, it was how I paid my way through college.

I graduated with a degree in Mass Communication/Journalism in 2012. Being a writer was pretty much all I had ever dreamed of being, and that’s not an exaggeration.  Even as a little kid I used to make up short stories and poems. Unfortunately, the year I graduated was also the year newspapers went through massive layoffs.

Needless to say, job openings were scarce.

I kept looking and, in the meantime, I continued working in hospitality. Advancement opportunities came my way but I passed them up. I was determined to follow my dreams and not wind up in a career I didn’t want. Eventually, I even tried expanding my job hunt into other communication fields.

However, by that point, my resume read like that of a restaurant management applicant and not a marketing professional (something a job interviewer kindly pointed out to me).

So, in 2017, I accepted a promotion. The next year, we moved back to Asheville (where we had previously lived) and I took a position managing a busy bar and restaurant. The job was mentally and physically draining and I honestly hated it. When we made the decision to move closer to my family, I decided to shift my career path. I applied for jobs that would utilize my previous experience, but wouldn’t be in the restaurant industry. And I found one.

The Job

When I initially accepted the job, I thought it was a sign that life was falling into place. It was an industry similar enough to bring a level of confidence but still different enough to give me a new challenge. And, because it was with a very small company, I would have the chance to wear a lot of hats and use skills my previous jobs didn’t.

I was excited…at first.

There were red flags early on in my time with the company. I actively ignored them, I told myself I just needed more time to settle into the job. The company was going through growing pains but it would level out. I just needed to hang in there.

Obviously, I was wrong.

Now, let me say this; I was not perfect at this job. There were aspects of the job that were new to me and I did make mistakes. However, none of the mistakes were detrimental and my bosses never once gave me the impression that they were unhappy with the job I was doing. In fact, I received far more compliments than criticisms.

I won’t bore you with the details of my firing. I do think it could have been handled much more gracefully and professionally. And, while I don’t have proof beyond a few comments that had been made prior to all of this, I suspect it had more to do with finances than performance.

Regardless, in the end, I still found myself terminated from a job for the first time in my life. And I learned more from the act of being fired than I ever learned in the job itself.

Lesson One

Remember how I said there were red flags early on I ignored?  Well, a few weeks before everything went down, I chose to stop ignoring them.  

I started hunting for a new job but not because I expected them to fire me though. I was unhappy in the position and didn’t agree with how business was conducted. It wasn’t a good fit for me.

So, while I was angry, annoyed, and a little stunned to be fired, I was also relieved. It wasn’t the way I wanted to leave the company, but I was still happy to leave.

And that’s when I realized my first lesson: trust your instincts.

Had I listened to my gut sooner, this whole situation could have been avoided. An experience early on with my bosses showed they had no concern or respect for my life outside of the job.

A last minute schedule change my boss made interfered with previous family plans I had made. When I brought it up to my boss, with an alternative solution, I was chastised for not telling them about an event that should have taken place hours after our usual work day ended.

I should have gotten out then, but you know what they say about hindsight.

Lesson Two

Going through this experience also taught me a lesson that I now consider something of a motto: “If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes being angry over it.”

After signing the papers that documented my termination and handing over my key, I drove home. And I was pissed.

I had never been fired before. I had never even been threatened to be fired. Many of my previous employers are still listed on my resume as references because they give glowing reviews about me.

I put my plans and goals on hold because I no longer brought home a paycheck. Most of all, I was angry because being fired versus leaving voluntarily meant I could not effectively leverage any experience I had gained.

But, here’s the thing: I didn’t want that job anymore. I didn’t even want to work in that industry anymore after my experience. I wanted to pursue a path where I would be happy and fulfilled and not constantly surrounded by negativity and stress.

And 5 years from now, that job, those people, and that termination, aren’t going to matter. In the long run, none of it will help or hurt me in achieving my goals.

So why waste my time and energy being angry over it.

Lesson Three

And here’s the most important lesson I learned: never stop going after your dreams.

As I said, I dreamed of being a writer since I was a kid. But I ended up trading my dreams for jobs that would bring financial security.

Over time, I found myself playing a part in helping other people achieve their dreams instead of achieving my own. And that’s not the story I want my life to tell.

So, after being fired, I found myself at a fork in the road. I could find another hospitality management position with a stable paycheck and live a comfortable life.

Or I could change directions, find a part-time job that allowed me to pay the bills while taking classes for a new career, and start working on those dreams of mine.

I chose my dreams.

Curious about other lessons I’ve learned in my life? Check out this post I wrote to commemorate my 30th birthday!